by  | Nov 6, 2018 | MarriageRelationships | 0 comments


Key Thought: A wise husband discerns that his role is crucial in achieving oneness.

The husband’s role includes three responsibilities:

  1. The first area of responsibility is loving (Eph. 5:25)
  2. The second area of responsibility is leading (Eph. 5:23)
  3. The third area of responsibility is caring (Eph. 5:29)

In this article, we will address the husband’s responsibility of caring.

“ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.” NKJV

“No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body the Church, of which we are parts.” TLB

Word Study:

nourishes (GK. Ektrepho)—lit. to nourish or feed; nurture or provide for a need.

cherishes (GK. Thalpo)—to keep warm, as of a mother bird covering her young with her feathers as she sits on her nest.

Practical meaning:

  • The husband is to care (i.e. to devote serious attention and concern) for his wife as he cares for his own body. She needs to know that he will consistently provide for and protect her. In doing so she feels safe and secure—cared for.
  • Notice that the wife is not the one who nourishes and cherishes her husband, but the one who is to receive this kind of care.

Practical application:

  • Discover where your wife needs provision and protection.


  • (Verbal) affirmation
  • Affection
  • Caring conversation
  • Emotional security
  • Financial security
  • Family commitment
  • Romance (the creative pursuit of your wife to capture her heart)


  • Physical harm by others
  • Over-scheduling or over-commitment
  • Manipulation by others
  • Unrealistic goals or expectations
  • Children taking advantage of her weaknesses
  • Burnout at work
  • Tendency to compare herself with others
  • People who repeatedly discourage or criticize her
  • Financial pressures
  • Recognizing physical limitations

Note: Most men get a deep sense of satisfaction from providing for and protecting their wives. It boosts their self-image as a man—they feel needed and important.

Tip: Consider having an informal discussion with your wife about the major and minor areas in which she feels vulnerable, insecure, fearful, or frustrated. Take action to make her feel more secure and safe.

2.Discover how your wife wants to be fulfilled.

  • Encourage her to use her spiritual gift(s) in service to others
  • Enable her to reach her personal goals and dreams
  • Encourage her in nurturing and developing her talents
  • Help her express her creativity in a meaningful way at home, church, etc.

Note: Your wife will feel that you value her and are helping her expand her life so that she can become an even more productive person.

3.Discover what personal problems your wife wants solved.

  • Get the facts. What exactly is the problem? Whose responsibility is it? What is the cause of the problem?
  • Discuss the alternatives together. Find out what your wife feels is best in the situation.
  • Go to God in prayer. Ask for wisdom and the resources to solve the problem. Make a decision under God’s leadership then help your wife implement it.
  • Evaluate the results. Be willing to refine the decision and its implementation.

Note: What are some of the personal problems that you wife wants resolved?

Conclusion: By consistently caring for your wife (providing and protecting) you will promote oneness in the relationship.

© Copyright 2018, TurningPoint Counseling Services, All Rights Reserved.

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