by  | Nov 4, 2018 | MarriageRelationships | 0 comments


Key Thought: A wise husband understands that his role is crucial in achieving oneness.

The husband’s role includes three essential responsibilities: Loving (See Part 1); Leading; Caring (See Part 3). This article will focus on the husband’s responsibility to lead.

The second area of responsibility is leading.

  • “For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.” (Ephesians 5:23)
  • “An elder…is one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence. For if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?” (I Timothy 3:4-5)
  • “Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their houses well.” (I Timothy 3:12)

Biblical Definition: ‘rule’ (GK. Proistemi—lit. “to stand before”) to lead, attend to (indicating care and diligence), to preside over.

Note: God has assigned the husband to be His representative in the home. He is to exemplify Christ in his role as its head; he must use his God -given authority to be the loving leader of his family. While there may be many causes for the breakdown of the family, the husband must ultimately accept the responsibility because he is the head.

Two basic problems with leaders of the home:

1.Do a poor job (i.e. lack of training or knowledge)

2.Abdicate their role to wife

  • fearful of making decisions
  • laziness
  • consistently absent from home
  • dominant/aggressive wife

Note: A problem from the beginning—“…her husband who was with her.” (Gen. 3:6). The silence of Adam created chaos in the first home.

The results of a lack of male leadership in the home:

  • Children disrespectful and disobedient
  • Wives anxious and frustrated
  • Finances tangled and chaotic
  • Daily schedules hectic
  • Family communication poor
  • Role confusion or reversal

How can I be a good leader in my home? By becoming a man of steel and a man of velvet.

ARE YOU A MAN OF STEEL OR A MAN OF VELVET? (God wants you to be both!)

Man of Steel

1.Are you committed to providing, protecting and pointing the way for your family?

2.Are you a man of conviction? Do you stand firm in your moral spiritual beliefs? Do you know what you believe and model/teach teach your children?

3.Are you a man of courage? Are you decisive even when your decision may be unpopular?

4.Are you a man of character? Man of integrity (‘integer’—whole). Do you do what is right even when no one is looking?

5.Are you constructive? Do you try to build others up?

6.Are you a man of confidence? Are you confident in God’s presence and ability to provide, protect, and guide you?

7.Are you a controlled man? Are you obedient to God and under His control? Are you living a sacrificial rather than indulgent lifestyle?

Man of Velvet

1.Are you a man that cares? Do you demonstrate compassion to others? Gentle touch; a kind word; encouraging.

2.Are you a man of consideration? Do you take time to consider the family’s needs? Do you take time to listen and consider the family’s feelings?

3.Are you cooperative? Do you balance your authority with understanding and flexibility?

4.Are you a communicator? Do you take time to listen or just talk? Do you share at a deeper level?

5.Are you a man of gentlemanly conduct? Do you respect and esteem others (i.e., women, children)? A gentleman rises when a lady enters the room, etc.

6.Are you able to cry when a family member is hurting? Are you compassionate and tender? Can you empathize with others?

© Copyright 2018, TurningPoint Counseling Services, All Rights Reserved.

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